Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Visit to Le Louvre's Egyptian collection reveals ancient roots of pop music!

On my last day in Paris, I paid a quick visit to Le Louvre and stumbled on hitherto undiscovered historical evidence of enormous implications. Just like in the "Da Vinci Code", in fact. But, as opposed to that quite poor novel, what I unveiled on that fateful Sunday was
something that actually matters. Because, let's face it, who is really surprised to hear that Jesus had a girlfriend, or how this was not put or kept in the bible? He was, after all, human, divine or not. Besides, Dan Brown's book was fiction, was it not? Anyway, what I found out was related to pop music rather than religion. You can imagine that I was surprised.

This papyrus scroll from ca 1500 BC is on open display in the Egyptian collections. There is only one possible interpretation, which is, of course that the ancient Egyptians had primitive gramophones as well as microphones. On stands.

Digging deeper into the subject, with some help from my fellow archaeological interpreters Carol and Animesh, we have concluded that this is a picture of a recording studio. The studio manager to the left announces to the singer that he has 10 more minutes, possibly due to limitations in the ancient recording media used in Egypt, of which we know very little. Not until some 3500 years later, similar studios would become popular also in the West, particularly in Memphis, Tennesee. This city named after the ancient Egyptian capital is where Elvis, Johny Cash and many others began their musical careers. This must suggest a link, but we can still not understand it fully. Why was Memphis named as it was? Could aliens be involved? Might Elvis perhaps have been secretly shipped to Egypt after his death to be mummified and buried in that magical place. Where it all started. For pop.

If you are still not convinced, this statuette, which is on display in the same museum, clearly pictures the worlds first known moonwalk. Michael Jackson, falsely accredited with having invented this dance move, looks increasingly like a mummy. Could there be a link? One can only guess.

Better quality images are available on Flickr


Natalie said...

Have you sold this story to "a Ding ding world" yet?

Wonderfully written! Couldn´t stop laughing...

Anders Lanzén said...

My friend David pointed out that I have made a serious mistake in my analysis. Elvis, as we all know, still lives. In fact what we see in the picture is one of his former shapes as the falcon headed god called Horus "practicing some 'Rak ahun Rohl' (which was, much later, introduced as what we now it as today, falsely referring to hip movements, but actually means something like 'The heavenly groove')." This is an important piece of the puzzle and has made me realise that Micheal Jackson is the current form of the Egyptian god known as Sebek, seen here doing a moonwalk. Thank you, David!

vic said...

My guess is that you are currently writing your next blog update!

eric said...

completely hilarious...truly Lanzen' !